Gepbimpad Camtagtof is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, generous rhinoceros.

Gepbimpad Camtagtof created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepbimpad Camtagtof, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gepbimpad Camtagtof, she will turn you into a rock.

Gepbimpad Camtagtof's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Gepbimpad Camtagtof's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three monkeys approach from the east.

2. Never sing near gulls.

3. Always help mice in need.

4. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

5. Feed all hungry grasshopers.