Taljanspag is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unthinking clam.

Taljanspag created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taljanspag, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Taljanspag, it will destroy your favourite star.

Taljanspag's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Taljanspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about capybaras.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Run away if four great tits approach from the west.

4. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not trade with those who eat figs.