Barnfonbad Fatkadgil is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, charitable seal.

Barnfonbad Fatkadgil created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Barnfonbad Fatkadgil, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Barnfonbad Fatkadgil, she will be very unhappy.

Barnfonbad Fatkadgil's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Barnfonbad Fatkadgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Geese are not to be trusted.

5. Do not chop down trees.