Lunwoncim is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, irritating troll.

Lunwoncim created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunwoncim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lunwoncim, she will remove you from existence.

Lunwoncim's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Lunwoncim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn ducks for they are unholy.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. You must love Lunwoncim.

4. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.