Nurlfarnmip Taddim is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent hyena.

Nurlfarnmip Taddim created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfarnmip Taddim, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nurlfarnmip Taddim, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Nurlfarnmip Taddim's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Nurlfarnmip Taddim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always take life seriously.