Tettijipmif is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, vain weasel.

Tettijipmif created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Tettijipmif, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tettijipmif, it will not care at all.

Tettijipmif's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Tettijipmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near monkeys.

2. Do not wear blue clothing.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never eat rice.

5. Tettijipmif must be the most important thing in your life.