Fitpadbot is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, vain sheep.

Fitpadbot created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitpadbot, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fitpadbot, it will destroy your favourite star.

Fitpadbot's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Fitpadbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near monkeys.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Erect eight tin sculptures of Fitpadbot on top of important buildings.

5. Always take life seriously.