Yakmitladtif is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, merciless finch.

Yakmitladtif created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakmitladtif, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Yakmitladtif, it will turn you into a mole.

Yakmitladtif's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Yakmitladtif's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

2. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.