Zandabbarn is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, benevolent monkey.

Zandabbarn created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zandabbarn, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zandabbarn, it will try to impress you with trees.

Zandabbarn's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Zandabbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help seals.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not hurt whales.

5. Never talk about gravity.