Vannutfarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, vain dingo.

Vannutfarn created tapeworms six million years ago.

If you believe in Vannutfarn, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vannutfarn, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vannutfarn's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Vannutfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Vannutfarn loves mice, so they must be respected.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not stand on grass.