Hapmigyim is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, clever armadillo.

Hapmigyim created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapmigyim, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hapmigyim, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hapmigyim's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Hapmigyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not covet oxen.