Flanhamortcublun is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-assured pig.

Flanhamortcublun created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanhamortcublun, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flanhamortcublun, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flanhamortcublun's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Flanhamortcublun's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flanhamortcublun.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.