Yattvegzim is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, conceited mink.

Yattvegzim created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattvegzim, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yattvegzim, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Yattvegzim's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Yattvegzim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight hamsters approach from the south.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. You must love Yattvegzim.

5. Do not covet oxen.