Bagbifhon Wabcubmob is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, sage raccoon.

Bagbifhon Wabcubmob created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bagbifhon Wabcubmob, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bagbifhon Wabcubmob, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Bagbifhon Wabcubmob's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bagbifhon Wabcubmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. You must never eat cherries.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Always obey Bagbifhon Wabcubmob's priests.