Dadmidcip Tarpvolbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, irritating chinchilla.

Dadmidcip Tarpvolbonk created the Black Eye Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Dadmidcip Tarpvolbonk, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dadmidcip Tarpvolbonk, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Dadmidcip Tarpvolbonk's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Dadmidcip Tarpvolbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta birds for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dadmidcip Tarpvolbonk.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Dadmidcip Tarpvolbonk loves snails, so they must be honoured.

5. Feed all hungry mice.