Haskapbab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fast troll.

Haskapbab created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Haskapbab, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Haskapbab, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Haskapbab's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Haskapbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

2. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

3. Haskapbab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Always stare at clouds.