Quatponsom is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, temperamental spider.

Quatponsom created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatponsom, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quatponsom, he will turn you into a rat.

Quatponsom's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Quatponsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt foxes.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Always help mice.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Pray towards the west.