Garbimfutmum is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, dishonourable horse.

Garbimfutmum created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garbimfutmum, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Garbimfutmum, she will make you grow a tail.

Garbimfutmum's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Garbimfutmum's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tortoises.

2. Run away if four badgers approach from the east.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Put Garbimfutmum first in all things.

5. Never paint your legs turquoise.