Jipvonktit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, egotistical hedgehog.

Jipvonktit created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipvonktit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jipvonktit, he will turn you into a slug.

Jipvonktit's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Jipvonktit's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never eat beans.

3. Do not speak about coconuts.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jipvonktit.

5. Jipvonktit must be the most important thing in your life.