Tonkanpang is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witless bear.

Tonkanpang created the Sol system two years ago.

If you believe in Tonkanpang, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonkanpang, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tonkanpang's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tonkanpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Do not shave your legs.