Gungofvonk Tendit is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, duplicitous mole.

Gungofvonk Tendit created matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gungofvonk Tendit, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gungofvonk Tendit, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gungofvonk Tendit's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Gungofvonk Tendit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gungofvonk Tendit.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always help mites in need.