Vonkgabquill is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unfair jaguar.

Vonkgabquill created the Black Eye Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkgabquill, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vonkgabquill, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Vonkgabquill's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Vonkgabquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.