Pigjigwiklarnzenpib is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, selfish mouse.

Pigjigwiklarnzenpib created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigjigwiklarnzenpib, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pigjigwiklarnzenpib, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Pigjigwiklarnzenpib's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Pigjigwiklarnzenpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. You must pray to Pigjigwiklarnzenpib eight times a day.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.