Capartlag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, uncaring rhinoceros.

Capartlag created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Capartlag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Capartlag, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Capartlag's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Capartlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to dogs while wearing white shirts.

2. Never wear mauve jumpers.

3. Never talk about monkeys.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never play with disobedient children.