Getbonkxem is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, fast narwhal.

Getbonkxem created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Getbonkxem, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Getbonkxem, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Getbonkxem's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Getbonkxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not kill horses.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.