Pibtapdogbit is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unselfish rat.

Pibtapdogbit created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibtapdogbit, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pibtapdogbit, it will send you a sign.

Pibtapdogbit's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Pibtapdogbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to seals while wearing green corsets.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Never look in ponds.