Quafquimwad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, caring crane.

Quafquimwad created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafquimwad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quafquimwad, he will turn you into a rat.

Quafquimwad's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Quafquimwad's Holy Commandments

1. Put Quafquimwad first in all things.

2. Never wear violet kilts.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

4. Run away from blue sharks, for they are unholy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.