Kanlogmad is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, humane dove.

Kanlogmad created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanlogmad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kanlogmad, she will manifest in front of you.

Kanlogmad's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Kanlogmad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kanlogmad.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never eat lentils.

5. Always look after injured geese.