Gunyiming is a god.

He takes the form of a large, grumpy clam.

Gunyiming created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunyiming, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gunyiming, he will send minions to preach to you.

Gunyiming's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Gunyiming's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of pigs.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Retreat if four seals approach from the south.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.