Satmifvab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witless gnu.

Satmifvab created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Satmifvab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Satmifvab, he will boil you in a big pot.

Satmifvab's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Satmifvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Satmifvab.