Hogjadflan is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, caring unicorn.

Hogjadflan created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogjadflan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hogjadflan, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hogjadflan's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Hogjadflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never eat carrots.