Gutnanmon is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, sage walrus.

Gutnanmon created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutnanmon, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gutnanmon, it will destroy your home solar system.

Gutnanmon's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gutnanmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.