Canpadjonbellgargom Gebbanlan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, almighty lizard.

Canpadjonbellgargom Gebbanlan created the Sunflower Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Canpadjonbellgargom Gebbanlan, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Canpadjonbellgargom Gebbanlan, she will turn you into a dog.

Canpadjonbellgargom Gebbanlan's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Canpadjonbellgargom Gebbanlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Canpadjonbellgargom Gebbanlan on top of all buildings.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Retreat if four snails approach from the south.