Midbassbogarpkomjat is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, caring wolf.

Midbassbogarpkomjat created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midbassbogarpkomjat, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Midbassbogarpkomjat, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Midbassbogarpkomjat's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Midbassbogarpkomjat's Holy Commandments

1. Midbassbogarpkomjat must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Worship no other gods but Midbassbogarpkomjat.

3. Always help sick great tits.

4. Run away if seven squirrels approach from the north.

5. Never skip near doves.