Kanbomquart is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, smart walrus.

Kanbomquart created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanbomquart, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kanbomquart, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kanbomquart's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Kanbomquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kanbomquart.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.