Jabfuddam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, kind jaguar.

Jabfuddam created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabfuddam, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jabfuddam, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Jabfuddam's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Jabfuddam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dogs.

2. Run away if nine capybaras approach from the north.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jabfuddam.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.