Fubkar is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, compassionate cobra.

Fubkar created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubkar, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fubkar, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fubkar's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Fubkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Fubkar's priests.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fubkar.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help squirrels in need.

5. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.