Guncamkim is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, idiotic camel.

Guncamkim created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Guncamkim, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Guncamkim, he will throw large rocks at you.

Guncamkim's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Guncamkim's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six tortoises approach from the west.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Hide if eight sheep approach from the east.

4. Put Guncamkim first in all things.

5. Never think ill of sick bats.