Tiggargig Hugran is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, witty armadillo.

Tiggargig Hugran created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Tiggargig Hugran, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tiggargig Hugran, he will turn you into a duck.

Tiggargig Hugran's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Tiggargig Hugran's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.