Vonkrullnul is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, almighty penguin.

Vonkrullnul created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkrullnul, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vonkrullnul, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vonkrullnul's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Vonkrullnul's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

2. Hide from pink badgers for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never feed lentils to moths while wearing purple tights.

5. Do not laugh in public.