Sawpindud is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, temperamental lobster.

Sawpindud created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawpindud, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sawpindud, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Sawpindud's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Sawpindud's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.