Jamcenlit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, weak goat.

Jamcenlit created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jamcenlit, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jamcenlit, it will destroy your home solar system.

Jamcenlit's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Jamcenlit's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Jamcenlit.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Feed all hungry otters.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not shave your chest.
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