Betrullken is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unthoughtful bear.

Betrullken created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betrullken, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Betrullken, it will be mildly annoyed.

Betrullken's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Betrullken's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always help porpoises in need.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.