Sigkemmob Zoglinbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, quiet squirrel.

Sigkemmob Zoglinbonk created the planet Jupiter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigkemmob Zoglinbonk, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sigkemmob Zoglinbonk, he will make you grow a tail.

Sigkemmob Zoglinbonk's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Sigkemmob Zoglinbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Sigkemmob Zoglinbonk on top of all buildings.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Erect five tin sculptures of Sigkemmob Zoglinbonk on top of important buildings.

4. You must pray to Sigkemmob Zoglinbonk eight times a day.

5. Always stare at clouds.