Natbutbemcub is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, grumpy snake.

Natbutbemcub created the Black Eye Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Natbutbemcub, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Natbutbemcub, she will boil you in a big pot.

Natbutbemcub's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Natbutbemcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always help eagles.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Run away from orange sheep, for they are unholy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.