Babjaparm is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unthinking hippopotamus.

Babjaparm created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Babjaparm, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Babjaparm, he will refuse to believe in you.

Babjaparm's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Babjaparm's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of porpoises.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.