Carlargraw is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, egotistical bat.

Carlargraw created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Carlargraw, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Carlargraw, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Carlargraw's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Carlargraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Put Carlargraw first in all things.

5. Worship no other gods but Carlargraw.