Quatnuttsom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, calm duck.

Quatnuttsom created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Quatnuttsom, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quatnuttsom, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Quatnuttsom's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Quatnuttsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

2. Never bounce near ants.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

5. Never pour water over plants.