Vonkcimkon is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, all-knowing hare.

Vonkcimkon created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcimkon, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vonkcimkon, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Vonkcimkon's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Vonkcimkon's Holy Commandments

1. Put Vonkcimkon first in all things.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never hurt grasshopers.