Gutyarplag is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, thoughtless newt.

Gutyarplag created the Tadpole Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Gutyarplag, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gutyarplag, he will destroy your home solar system.

Gutyarplag's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Gutyarplag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. You must never eat strawberries.